...Not the kind of wheel you fall asleep at...

Things I Did This Weekend in NYC

1. Saw an old man walking perfectly in beat (not windshield-wiper perfect but down to a hair's-breadth-perfect) to Madonna's "Borderline" which was playing in M's car as I sat in it, half-pajama-ed and double-parked, waiting for it to turn 10:00 so that I could park it back across the street again.

2. Spent time snuggling with the cutest, sweetest, and gasiest Boston Terrier in the history of mankind.

3. Ate lunch at Moby's vegan restaurant which was surprisingly unpretentious and ridiculously tasty.

4. Got to see a certain someone get all white-tatted up by some rocking cool NYC tattoo artists.

5. No sleep 'til Brooklyn! Ate here:

6. Partook in a $17 cheeseball (and it wasn't even WARM!).

7. Stood around with tons of other people and objectified nekkid men and watched people shagging and saw the world's creepiest fukking machine (link PROBABLY not SFW of course =).

8. Was told by some random gentleman who stopped me on the street that he wished he had a bigger brain.

9. Spent the weekend with folks whose dog-walker also walks harem-member #11 Vincent D'Onofrio's dog. *Swooning*

10. Actually screamed like a girl along with M (and jumped on a chair) as the world's fattest centipede barreled out from under a chair and straight at us.

11. Sat around in a Brooklyn park with a ridiculously stunning view of the NYC skyline and watched folks put on an excellently funny Twelfth Night as the skyline melted into a soft watercolor of skyscrapers and traffic.

12. Chowed on spicy hummus sammiches with the illustrious Pattie and Genevieve, and pet Oliver in their pretty damn cute apartment, who actually sat on my lap without ripping my heart and eyes out with his vicious claws.

13. Yammered about the logistics of living in the city and the bizarrely fantastic merits of 311 (the number, not the band).

14. Watched a really foxy chick shoot pool and whip the asses of a bunch of fellas and grin at me periodically and mime things to me throughout the evening.

15. Coveted the following books at a Barnes and Nobles:
  • Weird US

  • Cinematic Storytelling: The 100 Most Powerful Film Conventions Every Writer Should Know

  • Teany Book

  • Raw Food/Real World
  • , and
  • The Candle Cafe Cookbook

  • 16. Gorged on sushi at a cute lil' sushi place in Manhattan (a very very big squishy thank you to the Divine Miss K and her Divine Mister for their super-generous hospitality all weekend)--tried sweet potato cream cheese sushi, edamame, seaweed salad, a whole bottle of sake, and way too much more food.

    17. Sat around and consumed vast quantities of alcohol while staying up til the wee hours of the morn and listening to theater-folks talk about the private life of Renee Zellwegger (among various other things).

    18. Got stuck on a stretch of Jersey road where there was NO fricking place to turn around at.

    19. Wished I was spending more time here than just one weekend.

    20. Hung out with the friend of an acrobat who just rescued a jumper from the Hudson River this weekend.

    21. Drove in a hybrid for the first time.

    22. Squished in a bed with the softiest sheets ever with the softiest Mo ever.

    23. Had a piping hot cup of the best (and smoothest) stinking coffee I've had in my whole life.

    24. Almost saw a dude on a bike get hit by a car.

    25. Ate absolutely no NY-style pizza.



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