Ridiculous Plethora of Dreams I Had This Weekend

1. I am being chased for some reason that I cannot quite discern. There is a pool. I'm not sure why. There is fear. (As you can tell, this dream was a bit vague.) There is something involving a closet. And automobiles. The dream ends with me and my ex-boyfriend (who will henceforth be referred to as Hobo Bezumkins) opening presents. His mom is sitting nearby telling us that we will have to return all the monetary gifts as we are not together anymore. Hobo Bezumkins looks up at her with questioning eyes and asks, CAN WE AT LEAST KEEP THE GIFTS? She says, OF COURSE. I am somewhat happy.

2. I am dropped into murky waters. A huge HUGE (like 10-foot) piranha is right next to me. I panic and toss a sandwich into his mouth to distract him from eating me.




3. My mom has bought me an orange moped for some reason--perhaps for graduation. I take it for a test drive and am a few miles from home-base when it suddenly stops driving. I look down and the wheels are no longer there; they've been replaced by ineffective cotton pads. I look over my shoulder and some little kids are running around down the street, bagging up the tires that had peeled off everywhere. I am annoyed because I'm going to have to walk the whole way home.

4. I am over Hobo Bezumkins' parents' house (which is not actually their house). We are sitting around talking. I feel extremely uncomfortable because they seem overly-eager in their hints about us getting back together. I know this is not going to happen. Finally, I leave. They shout some sorta entreaty to me as I leave about no longer dating the fella I'm seeing. However, they name the wrong fella. It is raining outside when I leave. I have to walk home. I decide I really need a cigarette after sitting through all that. It is difficult to light in the rain. When I start smoking it, I realize it is unfiltered and all the tobacco has crumbled into my mouth. I keep trying to spit it out. Some car pulls up next to where I'm walking. It is a beater filled with some worn-out looking parents and about 6 little kids. The mom worriedly asks if I've seen the fellow who lives in the house I am walking in front of. I tell her that I have no idea who lives there and am not from around here. She gets upset and says she is afraid that he might have killed himself. I apologize for not being able to help out more. They drive off. (This dream and #1 become somewhat premonitory--I return home Sunday night to find a message from Hobo Bezumkins on my answering machine.)

5. I go to a horse-race with Eleven. I put money down on a horse. Eleven wanders off. When he returns he asks if my horse has won. I realize that I'd totally missed the race. Suddenly I am down on the track watching the horses bust in over the finish line. They are crumpling and some of them are dying as they cross the line. I am mortified. Then I get to pet a horse. It is pretty.

6. I am driving around near what is supposed to be Niagara Falls with my mom. They have all these cheapie plasticy decorations in the water, of rainbows and unicorns and whatnot. My mom pulls the car over and gets out, then runs to the edge of the cement and LOOKS like she's jumped over the side into the water. I run over after her and look over the edge, but she's only just climbing down a ladder into the water. I shout, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? And she says, I'M TRYING TO STICK TO MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION TO TRY NEW THINGS. I'm like ok. And then I say, WELL WHY DON'T YOU SWIM AROUND IN THIS RESERVOIR THINGIE WITH ME INSTEAD? So I jump into the nearby reservoir and am surprised at how warm it is. My mom jumps in after me and she is surprised as well.

7. I am leaning on a low guard-rail, watching some sorta pigeony-looking bird protect her babies while they chew on some rotting animal carcass. I am trying not to move because each time I do, she gets jumpy and ushers her babies back behind her. I sit like this, watching them, for a gratuitously long time.

8. I am headed to an astronomy class in the observatory of some school. However, the class is being held during the middle of the day, so I am puzzled as to how we are going to view the stars. I interact with a couple of snooty bitchy students in some way that I don't recollect but which imparts upon me the knowledge of their snooty bitchiness. I end up accidentally leaving my shoes somewhere but don't realize this until I'm almost out of the building. I return to look for them, but there's tons of other people's shoes which they ALSO have left there for some reason. I go in looking for sandals but cannot find mine. After I've given up and started walking home, I realize that I hadn't worn sandals, I'd worn sneakers and this is probably why I could not find them. I get distraught because I really dig the shoes that I lost.

Disturbing recurring dream-theme that I also indulged in this weekend:
Yet again, I dreamt about making out with Hyde from That 70's Show. This is my second or third dream I've had on this topic. I have no idea why. I am not attracted to him in real life, but apparently my subconscious has a thing for him.

This time the dream goes like this:
I am laying outside on the front of a beat-up car in the snow with my friends Lyndsey and Maura. We are looking up at the stars. Somebody finally says we should go inside and play this new game I got for my birthday. I hop up off the car and there's some old guy getting out of it. He is dressed kind of like a homeless fella. I look inside and there's a woman sleeping inside. I feel bad because we've sorta dented the hood of the car from laying on it. Our bodies are imprinted in the snow there. I am suddenly in my (alleged) kitchen. I can hear a group of my friends milling around in the other room out of view of the kitchen. I make a snarky remark to Hyde who is standing in the kitchen with me. He snaps back at me sarcastically. I grin because we are being wickedly flirtatious. He sorta backs me into the corner between the fridge and the wall. I am trying to extricate myself from being pinned in back there but am laughing. After trapping me with nowhere else to go, he plants a big delicious kiss on me. The details of the kiss are very vivid--down to the dryness of his tongue and how I accidentally bite on it a little.

What the hell is up with my subconscious?!?!

-------