10 MOVIES WORTH OWNING

LAUREN'S LIST

Donnie Darko

LS: Donnie Darko is my favorite alienated-youth-with-a-freaky-assed-bunny-rabbit-friend kinda movie that romps with ideas of time and space, mental illness, and teen angst in a startlingly bizarre story-line. A

AH: An apt statement on the naturally surreal [yes I am aware of the oxymoron] state of being that is the lot of most teenagers. B+

Memento

LS: ...a new and interesting kind of way. through non-linearity... that plays with the idea of time and memory... filled with quality acting (and quality tattooing)... An innovative little movie... A

AH: The people complaining that this would just be an above average thriller if the continuity hadn't been all bass-ackwards are right, but Memento is obviously smarter than those people. A-

Raising Arizona

LS: Nicolas Cage proves that he can be a damn funny guy and doesn't always have to play the bad-ass good-guy with (now-)capped teeth; I first saw this movie when I was home sick in middle-school, and it still makes me laugh my ass off even to this day with its quick-paced, silly sense of quirky Coen-Bros.-esque humor--still one of my favorite Coen Bros. movies. A

AH: This early effort by the Coens offers a good look at their particular brand of surrealism but lacks the refinement of their later films and has possibly the worst editing I have ever seen. B-

Kill Bill (vol. 1 & 2)

LS: Gloriously indulgent of his love of '70's movies (a love I share and thus appreciate), Kill Bill rocks with a kick-ass Uma Thurman wailing on all types of crazy-ass villains like the Crazy 88 all to a killer soundtrack. A

AH: A burned-out fanboy's gratuitous pastiche of unoriginal tripe; mindlessly and shallowly entertaining. B

The Shining

LS: I STILL always expect a wave of blood to come pouring out of empty slowly-opening elevator doors; one of my favorite horror movies, and one of my favorite Kubrick films, a definite must-see, preferably during the month of Halloween. A

AH: This movie became the archetypal horror flik with its unorthodox camera work, blunt depiction of insanity and the genius of Jack Nicholson. A+

Dead Man

LS: Chockful of Jarmusch's biting black humor, a great Neil Young score, some high-quality acting, and a bizarre (and yet lovely) old west storyline about a man named William Blake (Johnny Depp) who is being hunted for a murder that he did not commit and who crashes head on with Nobody and a weird spiritual enlightenment along the way. A

AH: A wry post-modern film that frames the deconstruction of American values and Hollywood through the most american of genres: the western. A

Ghost World

LS: This movie touches on the weirdly humorous eccentricities of not quite fitting in (but loving and cherishing that fact) during your suburban high school years, and its humor warms my very heart, especially the guy with the mullet. A

AH: When an overly ambitious film based in apathy and alienation rails against the nature of humanity through a retro-chic comparison of early and mid-twentieth century values to fin de siecle decadence, you get the slightly boring feeling that we are living in a Ghost World. B

Gerry

LS: This quiet little slow-paced but powerful film (definitely not for the action-movie fan) about being lost in the desert will leave you walking away with a horrified feeling of moral ambiguity that will haunt you for days (unless you're Adam Harvey, in which case you just won't understand the ending ; )... A

AH: This experiment in minimalist filmmaking uses a modicum of sharp dialogue and a more generous helping of ambient sound to form a well thought-out and well executed dissection of human relationship and behavior in high stress situations. B+

Clerks

LS: Weirdly, my mom introduced me to this vulgar, obscene, side-splitting little gem--when you're looking for the lowest of the low to make you laugh, bust this baby out and enjoy. A

AH: I have unconditional love for this movie despite my better taste. A

Amelie

LS: So damn cute but deviant that it'll make your gums bleed green, have you pondering how many people are having an orgasm at the exact moment you're reading this, and make you realize that cute and sweet love stories CAN in fact be made if put in the right (non-Hollywood) hands. A

AH: The best romantic comedy I have ever seen; the outstanding cinematography and camerawork and quirky plot in this film manages to be heartbreaking but not melodramatic and French but not pompous, quite an achievement. A

ADAM'S LIST

Last of the Mohicans

AH: A beautiful period film with great performances that gives a decent outline-by-example of the Romantic revolt against Neoclassicism. B+

LS: I love love love Daniel Day-Lewis and think he's one of the best actors around, and yet I implore you, Daniel, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING when you made this movie that forced you to run around scantily-clad and with long Fabio-hair like some prequel to Mel Gibson's Braveheart, wasting my time with a lengthy boring storyline and making me fall asleep? D

Rocky Horror Picture Show

AH: A hedonistic yet informed collage of popular and counter culture that offers not so subtle social commentary in a way that Quentin Tarantino could learn a few tricks from. A+

LS: What bad things could you possibly say about a movie that revolves around transvestites from outer space, has Tim Curry playing a trannie that could make the straightest of the straight drool all over themselves, has some kick-ass song sequences, and allows you to throw bread and shout disruptively at the screen??? A

Army of Darkness

AH: The ultimate horror comedy which is so saucy and mischevious that only people with sticks up their bums can't enjoy it. C-

LS: This is one of the campiest of the campy alleged horror films around, complete with horribly-filmed scenes of battling skeletons, the always butt-chinned and gratuitously overboard acting of Bruce Campbell, and a retarded plot-line all of which will make you laugh your ass off (especially if you've seen the other two films in this trilogy), now "gimme some sugar, baby." C

Rashomon

AH: The magnetic Toshiro Mifune mugs his way through this jewel of cinematic form and sublte analysis on the meaning of truth. A

LS: Toshiro Mifune rocks and he rocks particularly hard in this Kurosawa film despite the fact that I've discovered I have to be in a certain mood to sit through one of Kurosawa's films because a) they require that I read subtitles and b) they are their own little breed of movies. B+

Terminator 2: Judgment Day

AH: Neo-noir in the guise of gratuitous sci-fi action where the castrating female is played by a liquid android and the fallen but redeemable male lead is an Austrian cyborg that carts around a couple of humans as hood ornaments. A-

LS: I like the melty, mercurious fellow and how he runs because it makes me giggle, and I used to think Edward Furlong was a hottie when I was pubescent, but it's Linda Hamilton and her bad-ass, buff, feminist, ass-kicking self that really rocks my world in this otherwise ok movie. B-

Adaptation

AH: A film about writing a screenplay about a film about writing a screenplay; even if I got that backwards this is still a great movie just because it becomes what it hates as a statement of why it hates what it becomes and Judy Greer is briefly topless. A

LS: Adaptation is a whirlwind of bizarreness and cleverness and is wicked-smart in what it has to say about the art of movie adaptations and the art of writing and the art of loving and the art of existing, and I literally could watch it over and over because it just warms the cockles of my brain to their very core (psst. Chris Cooper TOTALLY deserved the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for this movie because he is fantastic in it). A

Moulin Rouge

AH: Baz Luhrman's rebirth of the musical, albeit in a postmodern 'our actors can't really sing, our songs aren't even close to being original, but we have catchy music, bright colors and nicole kidman,' way; it just needs naked cartwheels. B

LS: This movie was fun and colorful and enjoyable to watch, but it has the buoyancy of too many musicals, a buoyancy that is easily-popped once one deflates the music and the prettiness from it to find a sad and withered and overly-used plotline. B-

Schindler's List

AH: This movie should be owned because even though it is beautiful to watch, the fact that Spielberg sells his heritage into an effeminate nameless mass that glorifies a Nazi capitalist makes it into one of the worst movies of all time; it should serve as a warning to others on how Hollywood is so unscrupulous that it can remove the sacredness of anything to make a buck [see also, The Passion of the Christ]. D

LS: I hate rating movies about the Holocaust because it becomes a matter of rating how well a movie is able to one-up all previous Holocaust movies with their images of suffering; that being said, Schindler's List is a crisp, nicely-filmed black and white movie that delves into the Holocaust and its atrocities without every really exploring anything complicated or saying anything new or interesting about this event. B

Do the Right Thing

AH: Black empowerment is a good thing and Spike Lee makes it clear that all sides on the race issue have to keep their tempers under control, but he still doesn't tell us how to go about and Fite da Powa. B

LS: Unfortunately, this movie suffers a bit nowadays because it's kinda got that '80's ring to it, but it still holds out as a stand-up ball-busting movie exploring racial tension in an honest and (at the time) new way. B+

Y Tu Mama Tambien

AH: Coming Of Age Teen Romp: Meet Hot Older Chick, Bang Her Like Mooks, Bang Each Other, Learn About Life, Drift Apart. B+

LS: I liked this movie and will admit to having been caught up in the characters throughout, but I still don't understand why there's so much hype surrounding it because it's not got really anything THAT new or revolutionary or, really, that interesting to say about the experience of being a pubescent boy. B

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