Fuck Necessity... Creativity's the Mother of Invention

So lately I've been playing a lot of poker with folks. A few Fridays ago, I hung out with "the boys" and had a real fun time playing game after game into the wee hours of the morn. This past Friday, I hung out with "the girls" (and Eleven, though I'm sure no one would argue that he probably falls under this category as well... buddummmm chiiii) and played a bit wackier and spontaneous variety of poker.

One thing I noticed is that "the boys" (not all of them but SOME of them) are WAY too uptight about poker. Everything is about "the rules," the rules," "the rules."

The last time I played with "the boys," we were all asked to bring a poker game to offer up for play that night. Now, I've only really played poker (and really half-assed poker at that) once or twice in the span of my life thus far. So I sure as shit didn't have a game to offer. Short on time (and short on a computer on which to RESEARCH a game), I decided to invent my own: OVERTHROW.

Unfortunately, it was met with much smirking, undercutting, and criticism. Common remarks:

"So is this gonna require us to be doing weird shit, like dancing around and stuff?"*

"Um, I don't technically think that this COULD really be classified as a poker game because one technically could not figure out a system of beating it or figure out one's odds at winning."**

And

"Um, seven cards? You sure you wanna do seven cards??"*** Followed by some looking around at everyone and chuckling.

To this I say: You know what? Suck it. Because it ain't about the rules, folks. If it were about the rules, we'd still be sitting in caves, sniffing and flinging our shit at one another.

I don't know why creativity and invention is looked down upon when we become adults, perceived as a more "childish" kinda activity. But it's the folks who're busting at the seams with it who've given us so many fantastical things in this life--from technology (phones, cameras, devices on which to record music) to the arts (books, erotica, paintings) to OVERTHROW (which I have no doubt will soon become a new fad sweeping the nation). Without them the world would be a boring place.

So fuck it. Call me childish if you will, but I sure as hell am gonna continue to embrace this "childishness"...

Childish things I still enjoy:

riding my bike as fast as my legs can pump and full-speed down hills while the wind whips through my hair;

picking scabs (or *couADAMgh* having other people pick at them for me with their pocketknives);

sucking loud metal shit up into the vacuum;

telling hugely overexaggerated stories;

getting hyperactive from sugar;

practicing burping in the lunchroom at work;

pinching people;

Candyland and Chutes & Ladders;

Mad Libs;

jumping out from hiding places and scaring people;

and most of all...

making up games to play.

And with that, I give to you...

The Revised Version of OVERTHROW

In this game, the king and queen hold all the power. But if a Jack steps up, he can usurp it all with one quick thrust.

Rules:

Played exactly like Seven Card Stud, with the following exceptions:

In OVERTHROW, Queens and Kings are wild. HOWEVER, if in the course of dealing, a Jack is dealt FACE-UP into someone's hand, everyone must dispose of the Queens and Kings in their hand (regardless of whether they are face-down or face-up). However, if the Jack is dealt face down, this rule does not apply.

The game will pause here and those who got rid of their Queens and Kings will be dealt new cards to replace them. Dealing then commences.

Whatever is dealt FACE UP right after the Jack (and all cards of this same rank) will become the new wild card (similar to the function of the queen in Follow the Queen).

As in Follow the Queen, if the next card after the Jack is a FACE-DOWN card, then nothing is wild.

The dealing and betting continues as in Seven-Card Stud but with a new wild card.

HOWEVER, if ANOTHER Jack is laid down face-up, any new queens or kings that have been accumulated are disposed of again and a NEW wild card comes into play (like in Follow the Queen).

Enjoy!



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*Had I thought of this, I would've included it. Perhaps next time. Or perhaps next time I'll just bring some STRIP poker to the table. Bitch. Let's see you make fun of my card game with your lil' weenie exposed for everyone to gawk at.

**If you have a finite number of cards, then you SHOULD in fact be able to figure out a system and/or your odds of winning. BUT, giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming that you CAN'T figure out the odds, I'd still like to point out that there are OTHER poker games in which this seems to be the case as well (where wild cards are arbitrarily decided or where cards are discarded if other cards are dealt--see Follow the Queen for an example of the former and The Good, The Bad, The Ugly for an example of the latter). So yes, as weird as my rules may be (and especially if games as weird and unpoker-like as GOLF are considered poker), it CAN in fact be considered a poker game. So there.

***Yeah. I'm sure.

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