A Short Scene from a Play

This short scene was written on and inspired by a night of heavy drinking at my apartment. It was created by the combined (and inebriated) imaginations of Maura, Lyndsey Lantz, and yours truly--each character is written by one (and only one) of the three geniuses listed above. Enjoy.

Setting: Inside a pumpkin

Time: A little after 2 in the morning

Sheila, the seamstress:
Rita, the ex-almost nun:
Dick, who likes dinosaurs:

Purpose: All 3 go in their minds for solace

All 3: Wahh!

Dick: Check out these pumpkin seeds.

Rita: Who the fuck are you?

Dick: I'm Dick. I like dinosaurs.

Sheila: Where's my needle?

Dick: What'd ya need a needle for?

Sheila: Wah! Who are you?

Dick: I'm Dick. I like dinosaurs.

Rita (drags on her cigarette)

Dick: Should you smoke in a pumpkin?

Rita: Should a 20-year old man still like dinosaurs?

Dick: Everyone of all ages should {heart} dinosaurs. There's no age limit on the love of dinosaurs.

Rita (rolls eyes): Jesus.

Sheila: Where's my needle, you motherfuckers?

Dick: Why do you need a needle?

Sheila: For my fuckin needlepoint, dumbass.

Dick: There's no need to get hostile when we're in a pumpkin.

Rita: So wait, why are you in my pumpkin?

Dick: Your pumpkin?

Sheila: Where's my needle, fuckers?

Dick: How is this your pumpkin?

Rita: Seriously, what's with the needle?

Sheila: I come here to relax with my needlepoint.

Rita: Since when do you relax in my pumpkin with your needlepoint?

Dick: Who died and made this your pumpkin?

Sheila: Oh here's my needle. (Picks up needle. Takes pumpkin seed off of it)

Dick: You actually found a needle in this pumpkin?

Rita: Hey, where's my 20-year old hunk of a man? (He suddenly appears at bottom of pumpkin with pumpkin seeds all over)

Peter: Hi, I'm Peter. I like pumpkin seeds.

Sheila (to Dick): It's not a fuckin haystack. (To Peter) Do you like them toasted?

Peter: I like seeds any way I can get them. Where the hell are we, Rita?

Rita: In a pumpkin, Peter.

Peter: I love pumpkins. Pumpkin seeds. Any seeds really.

Dick: I came here for solace.

Rita: Why the hell is your place of solace a pumpkin?

Dick: Because as a child, my mother used to hand me pumpkins to carve while my father was beating me in a drunken stupor.

Rita: What's with the whole dinosaur thing?

Dick: Do you really wanna know?

Rita: YES.

Dick: Bend over. I'll show you a dinosaur.

Sheila: Oh! A dinosaur. That's a perfect addition to my needlepoint.

Rita (rolls eyes. sits down. lights another cigarette)

Dick: You really shouldn't smoke in the pumpkin.

Sheila: A smoking dinosaur!

Dick: Dinosaurs like to dominate. That's why I like dinosaurs. So bend over.

Rita (closes eyes. squinches face)

Suddenly Dick turns into a man dressed as a female prostitute.

The End

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