CSI: MIAMI

Any typical episode of CSI: Miami goes as follows:

A crime is committed.

David Caruso appears on the scene and they fill him in on all the details.

Caruso looks around smugly, pulls down his shades, looks off in the distance, and then says something smugly intense and/or witty (i.e. "They mess with one cop, they mess with us all"). Cue the intro music and credits.

Caruso talks to someone without looking at them, staring off intently into the distance.

Something happens in slo-mo.

They shoot a gun over and over for ballistics.

They magnify a picture to absurd points to find out a license-plate number or what the little fleckle of dust on some chick's ring finger in the VERY VERY VERY background is composed of.

Caruso says something stoically.

The cute blond chick smiles and says something sassy. (*Sidenote: For some reason I really dig the cute blond--she annoyed me at first but she is one of the only non-annoying characters on the show.)

Rory Cochrane furrows his brow as he accidentally slips into reminiscing about his good ol' days as the kick-ass Slater in Dazed and Confused.

Caruso looks off in the distance again and says something smugly.

Caruso chides a criminal that he is "going to take down."

Some funky, pseudo-hip modern music starts playing during a stimulating scene of ballistics testing, DNA testing, or autopsy.

Someone's calm exterior is broken by something that touches him/her, moving them into emotions and revealing that, yes, they ARE indeed human.

The criminal is captured.

Caruso says something witty and smug and bad-ass to said criminal as they drag him off in cuffs.

Caruso says something else wise and/or witty and then looks off intensely into distance while either the closing music swirls in or they pan out into a shot of good ol' Miami.

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