Yesterday, we both realized that we sorta don't have an anniversary day. This is relatively easy to explain: I had been broken up with my ex- for a while and was still in the process of getting through that; he was busy dealing with the turmoil of untying the knot and all the legalities involved with that. And we'd been friends for a while, so it was sort of a blurry and unclear slip from friendship into "something more" with no one moment that shouted "This is the instant you became something more, the instant that should be celebrated henceforth and forever."
We had a first kiss--I talked straight through it, caught so off-guard that I didn't even realize it was happening and never even thought to kiss back until five minutes later.
We had a first fumblingly intimate moment.
We had a first shag.
We had a first moment I felt comfortable enough to crash over his place, a first moment that our toothbrushes found a place in the other person's home.
We had a lot of firsts.
But neither of us remember dates or times.
And maybe this is a good thing.
I've always thought that the idea of Valentine's Day was kind of silly, not simply because it is a Hallmark-invented holiday, but because I always found myself wondering, why is February 14th "THE" day to show the ones we love THAT we love? Why must it be premeditated, and why must we be told to do so by some social force? Why don't we just unravel this holiday into random and unexpected professions of love throughout the year?
The same could be said for anniversaries. Why do we decide that this one day is the day in which we will reflect upon our relationship, that we will openly share our appreciation of it with the other person, and that is symbolic of our love for one another?
Shouldn't EVERY day be this day? And if not every day, then shouldn't such reflection, such grasping at love, not be premeditated?
Because we realized that we are in fact anniversary-less, we've decided that we are going to celebrate a "Randomversary" instead. Instead of the Xth day of Xth month being our anniversary henceforth and forevermore, our anniversary is gonna be born out of randomness, just like our relationship and our love for each other. In fact, to keep it random and to keep things fresh and full of surprise, we will in fact have TWO randomversaries each year--when it moves us to do so, each of us will decide to offer up a day of celebration in honor of the love and friendship we share.
This will put a little bit of surprise back into the relationship, will put a bit more spontaneity into our celebrating. If I decide that tomorrow is our randomversary, then so it is. Perhaps I will surprise him with a bottle of wine and a night full of shagging so explicit that it can't even be touched with a ten-foot pole here (either that, or maybe just dinner at a nice restaurant ; ). And maybe in June, he will decide it is high time for our randomversary as well and surprise me last minute with a weekend chock full of excitement.
It will be a surprise, it will be spontaneous, it will be ever-changing, it will be when it moves us. It will be all the things that a relationship should be. It will keep us on our toes and appreciating each other.
It will be our randomversary, and DAMMIT, you will love us for it!