Things I Like to Do to Entertain Myself in the Bathroom at Work

(None of which are dirty because those activities are reserved for BAR bathrooms only):

Try to sustain my urine flow as long as the other people in the bathroom--if I succeed, I win; if I fail, they win (though I try to avoid TELLING them that they've won);

Contemplate the different aural sounds of the urine flow--the soft quiet one that barely ripples the water, the loud splashy one that announces with proudness your job in urinating;

Pee;

Take a reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally long time to wash my hands when someone is silently sitting in the stall, waiting for me to leave so they can shit;

Try to make sure that I pee loud enough for other bathroom occupants to hear before they leave the restroom so that they don't think I'm one of the silent pooper-preppers listed above;

Fake bang the tampon/maxi-pad garbage can a few times so it sounds like I'm changing my tampon (I'm still not quite sure why I find this entertaining);

Hold my breath.

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