Grapefruit

A review of Fruit #2 on my quest for trying a new fruit every week. *Cue you all making fun of me for never having had a grapefruit before either*



Uniqueness: Not terribly unique. Resembles an overweight orange-wannabe.

Flavor and consistency: The grapefruit is sour which, coupled with sugar, makes for a delightful treat. They are plump with juices, and the only thing I'm not a fan about is the pulpishness if you take an inaccurate spoonful.

Healthiness: High in Vitamin C, low in calories. (Read more)

Ease of consumption: Eating a grapefruit made me think of the disparity between sex in the movies and sex in the real world. In the movies, sex is self-contained and never messy. There are no fluids exploding everywhere, shooting in your eye, gooing up your hair. Things are nice and neat--wiener goes in, jiggling commences, simultaneous orgasm ensues, wiener comes out, no after-dinner clean-up needed since the man and woman (man and man) are remarkably and suspiciously clean. In the movies, sex is simple, orgasms always happen simultaneously, women always orgasm simply from penetration and non-digital stimulation. Same can be said for the grapefruit (sorta--not so much with the orgasming part though, otherwise they'd probably be a much more popular fruit): in the movies and on tv, spoon goes in, grapefruit chunk comes out. There is no injurious squirting (unless the grapefruit consumption takes place on a sitcom) and the flesh of the grapefruit is consumed with ease. When I ate my first grapefruit this Friday, I squirted myself in the eye once which resulted in a George Costanza-like winking for about an hour. I also squirted myself in the forehead, the hair, and the cheek. Also, I would've probably enjoyed the snack more had the grapefruit come with an instruction manual--it took about 3/4 of the grapefruit before I was able to figure out an efficient way to scoop out the meat without exploding the juices all over the interior of it and leaving myself only flabby bits of pulp.

Complaints: Seeds--there were a couple seeds involved in my grapefruit incident, and fruit always receives a lesser marking when it involves a) having to pay attention so as to not accidentally consume seeds or b) having to spit seeds from your mouth as you eat (which is why I also loathe the watermelon). Seeds and other unnecessary unconsumables should not interrupt one's food.

Overall: I'd eat 'em again. Towards the end, I'd gotten the hang of how to remove the fruit from the skin in a way that yielded a light but tasty snack.

Grade: B

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