...Not the kind of wheel you fall asleep at...

Ugli Fruit

A review of Fruit #4 on my quest for trying a new fruit every week.

Uniqueness: This is the fricking coolest fruit ever, uniqueness-wise. It's like all hideous and wrinkled and weird-looking and easy to wear as a hat. And it's big and kinda feels like a football or soccerball and you have to control yourself not to punt it across the room. And it weirds people out--I don't know HOW many people have puzzledly looked at it and gotten into conversation with me about it. People that normally hate me and don't ever talk to me! I think that I should start taking it out to bars and clubs with me to pick up the fellers. It truly is like the fruit equivalent of a pug! It's just so ugly that it's gone beyond ugly and back to cute again, so ugly that you just wanna cuddle it in your arms and make sweet sweet love to it. Just like a pug!

Flavor and consistency: It is a cross between a mandarin orange and a pomelo apparently*. It is not sour like a grapefruit nor is it the super-sweetness of an orange--a nice balance.

Healthiness: Apparently the equivalent in healthiness of other citrus fruits.

Ease of consumption: A tad bit easier than a grapefruit. The tiny pieces separate more easily from the peel and the little citrus-filled compartments are a bit more user-friendly if you eat it like a grapefruit.

Complaints: How can you complain about something that's so fricking cute to look at?

Other things to note:

If you cut it in two across its belly, it's real pretty on the inside, moreso than a grapefruit.

It even has its own slogan.

"The Affliction is only Skin Deep so the Beauty is in the Eating "™

How cool is that??

Overall: I liked having it around--I think I would enjoy it more as a pet than a fruit though. I named the one I ate today Margaret. The flavor was yummy, the pieces were a bit easier to consume than a grapefruit, but it was still a bit messy and squirty.

Grade: B+



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