...Not the kind of wheel you fall asleep at...

Childhood Phases That My Siblings and I Have Gone Through

  • The "I Love Spaghetti Noodle Sandwiches" Phase;

  • The "Bridges Can Only Be Seen If Driven On Otherwise They are Invisible" Phase;

  • The "Dolls and Stuffed Animals are Really Alive" Phase;

  • The "I'm in Love with Dana Carvey" Phase;

  • My "I Can't Fall Asleep Unless I'm Wearing a Winter Hat and Mittens and Listening to my Earphones" Phase;

  • The "I Will Ingest Things I'm Not Supposed to Ingest" Phase (a half-pack of my father's cigarettes at age 2; an entire tube of Sparkle Crest Toothpaste eaten while hiding behind our garage at age 5);

  • The "I Must Have White Rhinestone Cowboy Boots or I Will Be the Social Outcast of the First Grade" Phase;

  • The "Crocodile Dundee Hat" Phase;

  • The "I Refuse To Walk Through Puddles Barefoot Because Ringworms Will Crawl Up Through the Skin in My Feet If I Do" Phase;

  • The "Flushing Rubber Muppets Toys Down the Toilet" Phase;

  • The "I Refuse to Pull Out My Loose Teeth Even Though They are Turning Purple" Phase.

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