...Not the kind of wheel you fall asleep at...

Weird Food Hang-Ups

(Inspired by Peppermint's blog)

1. If a PBJ sammich is bruised (where the jelly has started soaking through the bread), it cannot be consumed.

2. Spices must be ground up as small as possible--biting into a large spice in a piece of food is the equivalent of licking the bottom of someone's shoe.

3. Soups and chilis are rendered almost inedible if I am unable to discern what each food is composed of. (Any food that is a combination of a ton of different mushed up kinda vegetables and stuff makes me a bit leery because I need to recognize WHAT it is I'm eating BEFORE I start eating it (as a general rule). It is difficult for me to eat something when I cannot clearly differentiate between the ingredients it is composed of. Mixed vegetables weird me out as well, despite the fact that I can clearly differentiate between veggies--they just seem like they shouldn't be mixed. Veggies should stick to their own kind. Also, mixing vegetables with other foods while eating them--corn in your mashed potatoes, for i.e.--creeps me out as well.)

4. Licking or eating something cold that is typically warmed up before consuming, i.e. spaghetti sauce, soup, etc, is punishable by death.

5. Eggs can either be cooked scrambled, over-easy, or hard-boiled. If an over-easy easy egg is boogery in the middle, one typically must stop eating it. Each bite of an over-easy egg must be accompanied by a bite of toast to combat the weird egg-texture. Scrambled eggs must also be accompanied by a bite of toast if eaten plain--however, if they are eaten with salsa on them or as omelets or mixed with ketchup, the toast is not necessary.

6. Only the end-slices of large tomatoes are truly edible. The interiors are rendered relatively inedible because of their boogery seeds--if the seeds are scooped out, only THEN can the interiors of the tomato be comfortably ingested.

7. Tea and coffee can only be drunk while extremely hot. Once either has turned lukewarm, consumption is no longer feasible.

8. Only COOKED onions can be ingested. The flavor of raw onions lingers in my mouth for DAYS, I kid you not.

9. Bananas can only be eaten when mixed with something else (ice cream in a banana- split, yogurt, cereal) because otherwise the consistency will make you gag.

10. Brownies cannot have nuts in them to interrupt their flow.

11. Orange juice must be pulp-free or sucked through a tightly-pinched straw so that the pulp does not make it up into your mouth.

12. Rice is boring and can only be consumed when accompanied with something else.



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