...Not the kind of wheel you fall asleep at...

...And Riding on the Coattails of a Positive Blog is Surliness Illustrated with Pictures...

Lately, I've been thinking, I really could live happily if I never heard another word out of another person's mouth for the rest of eternity.

As I say this, I knock on wood, knowing that because of such an arrogant and mean statement, I'll probably trip while q-tipping my ears or something and, voila, my wish will be granted.

But lately I just feel like one of those old-fashioned switchboard operators who used to have to transfer calls by plugging and unplugging into different jacks and stuff, all a-jangle with a bunch of different noise, a bunch of different people shouting for a bunch of different connections, a bunch of different thoughts going on in my head. And my head keeps yelling NO MORE INPUT! And I feel like I need to just put down the plugs and stuff and RUN.

It just feels like each time a person opens their mouth, garish, deafening, static and grinding and terrible gnashing of mixed up frequencies and metal and phone lines comes out. Everything sounds like the metallic mastication, the iron noisiness, of Tetsuo or something. Like car accidents and lightning-striking and a machine bottoming out on itself as its gears collapse. Like I should be pausing like the 1950's scream queens in ridiculously slow and lengthy horror in front of such noise and countering it with the most blood-curdling scream ever...

And then someone says something to me while I'm whining about this like, "i mean, when you have pickles, there ain't no lemonade!" and I take it all back. Heh heh.



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