...Not the kind of wheel you fall asleep at...

"Very superstitious, Writing's on the wall..."

While downing fierce bottles of Nosferatu beer at Queen Bitch Lush's Oktoberfest party this weekend, I had a Halloween decorating epiphany for my kitchen.

For those of you not familiar with my fiendish love of Halloween, lemme fill you in--during the month of October, I have a very difficult time watching anything that is not a horror movie. I have already watched eleven (twelve, if you're willing to count a documentary) horror flicks this October (you can check out my horror movie site HERE to see a complete list). I have stocked up on a variety of sundry Halloween decorations. I have perfected my "Halloween bloody-fingers cookies" which look disturbingly realistic. I have in my permanent collection a pair of gloves that have glow-in-the-dark eyeballs on them and a spider-web candle-holder. I have three different skull candles. I get super-geeked when I find fantastic deals on fake-spiderwebs ($1.19 for a huge pack at JoAnn Fabrics). I was actually tempted to buy a cauldron. I could go on and on. Translation: Halloween is my favorite holiday.

And yet, I realized last night when tempted to follow through on my kitchen decorating epiphany, that the decorating scheme is also something that I cannot bring myself to do any earlier than Friday and during daylight hours. I am as atheistic/agnostic as a person can get, and yet, here I am getting totally creeped out at the prospect of having to be around potentially, um, "satanic" decorations. I could NOT walk into the kitchen all week, in the cloak of darkness, and know that these things would be in there. *AND* I actually think I would be nervous that, like a person accidentally inviting a vampire into their home, it would be an invitation to introduce evil into my apartment...

Here I am, queen agnostine, and I'm freaked out that the devil might pop his head in and try to possess me or something. *sigh*

I think there was some sorta weird hiccup in my genetic makeup that allows me to make absolutely no sense in this regard--to not believe a wit in God and yet to avoid walking under ladders, to not stand too long in front of a mirror hanging in a dark room, to say "God bless you" to sneezers, to love the notion of All-Hallow's Eve (which has strong Christian roots). This discrepancy is such a weird one. I mean, even when I was little, I felt no connection with a "God" and no impending sense of faith at all. So how'd I inherit all these freak-outs in the realm of the devil and superstition?

Am I a hypocritical atheist? Or just a nonsensical one? The answer is unclear.

But either way, I'm sure it's just another reason I'm most certainly going to hell.



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