...Not the kind of wheel you fall asleep at...

Funny Cat Anecdote

I refuse to become one of those cat-people who bores the piss outta everyone by constantly blogging about how funny their cat is or how cute it is or what funny thing it did the other day or what shape of poop they scrounged out of its shit box that afternoon. That being said, you gotta let me get away with a COUPLE of 'em, seeing as the kitties are new. I shall now proceed with Funny Cat Story #1:

Zooey (the older of my two new adoptees) did the darnedest thing yesterday. I was sitting over a steaming hot bowl of pasta, trying to get her nose away from the food that was sitting on the table. Franny (the 12-week old) was sniffing around near my bookcase, favoring a thick, old, musty-smelling copy of James Joyce's Ulysses that she was trying ever-so-discretely to nibble on. I pushed Zooey away for the 15th time, and she gave up, stomping away angrily towards Franny. She paused, clearly noticing that Franny was nibbling the Joyce book, and a sassy-bitchy look came over her. Then all of the sudden (I kid you not), Zooey actually blurted the fuck out, "Oh give it up, Franny. Joyce is *SO* overrated and everyone knows you didn't even get through the first 50 pages. Stop acting like you're an intellectual. Fucking poseur." I swear to god. And she said it in a voice that sounded startlingly similar to Truman Capote's. I about choked on my noodles. Cats *DO* say the darnedest things. Oh wait--it's "kids," isn't it?

God, how I hate kids.



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