...Not the kind of wheel you fall asleep at...

Things I Realized This Weekend

1. E revealed to me that he's secretly attracted to (and fetishizes) plasticy girls and he doesn't know why. This got me thinking about what/whom I find myself guiltily attracted to, and I realized the following: One of my subgenres of attraction is that I'm attracted to pretty boys who are attracted to me in some way (or are at least intrigued by me). This is the most egotistical thing ever, but it is the case. Hence it being a "guilty" attraction. Generally, pretty boys don't do it for me (and vice versa, for that matter). But if I realize that they're intrigued by me or find me interesting in some way, that's when they start to become more attractive to me. For some reason, I find it to be a touchstone that reveals that they aren't just genero pretty boys, that if they find me intriguing (since I'm not stereotypically pretty), then there must be something a little bit more deep and interesting going on in that pretty package of theirs. Case in point, blond stoner boy and the fastiduously trendy and well-dressed eyeglass guy who fitted my glasses. I'm such a fucking egotistical cock.

2. That I've reduced horror movies down to several categories and figured out which category I'm most fond of: the campy, the supernatural/spooky horror flick, the horror flick about the horror that is human beings. Most horror flicks fall into one of these three categories (between which there is, of course, a bit of overlap). I prefer the second category. And then the first. And then the final. I like movies about the fucked-upedness (worst word ever) that is human nature and that is deviation, but oftentimes, they are much too unsettling and disturbing for me to want to invest time in. I mean, I know that human beings are royally fucked up, but there is something that horrifies me about glorifying them through excitedly filming it.

3. It's actually a good thing that my eyeglasses broke. My new eyeglasses are WAY cooler. They have that sexy librarian look going on--like I just fucked someone against the bookshelves in the biology section of the public library and am now checking out a Ramona book to a little girl with my shirt slightly askew.

4. I am actually capable of inventing really good recipes on my own. This weekend, being the tool I am, I decided to make a vegan mac n' cheese recipe that a certain Ms. Peppermint had sent me on a postcard a while back, but then promptly misread the ingredients, leaving myself sans brewer's yeast (which I had misread as NUTRITIONAL yeast). After punching myself in the boob several times in punishment, I decided to wing it and try invent my own recipe for a baked mac n' cheese. In the non-vegan world, this would be fairly easy--toss some cheese in with noodles. But in vegan-land, where I did not have any processed vegan cheddar cheese or anything handy, this offered more of a challenge. I had to figure out what the hell to mix together to make something taste like cheese (without making it cause people to hurl). Apparently, I found the right mixture, as it turned out really fucking good, both to my amazement and E's as well. Apparently nutritional yeast, garlic, soy milk, soy sauce, mustard, hickory flavoring, cayenne pepper, and a weird variety of other spices taste DAMN good and cheezy when mixed together. Yip yip.

5. I am a total slob.



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