This Weekend, Thinking

This weekend, downing cozy sushi, watching fucked-up Asian horror flicks, sharing wine, snuggling with my cats, all provided a moment for me to pause and think about where things are in this 29th year of living this life that I've been raising as my own. The past 3-4 years have been some crazy ones with so much change that it unsettles me to think back on them sometimes. I've grown wildly apart from some folks, I've lost people/pets I love, I've gone through so many changes in my perspective/philosophical outlooks on things. I've grown to love folks deeply, I've found myself no longer walking quite so tightly hand-in-hand with other folks down my dirty little path (and I've realized I'm ok with that), I've learned to not give a shit about what people think of me, I've found myself finally living for myself and not others (and putting myself ahead for once), I've sloughed off the skin of people who were doing me more harm than good, I've been reunited with my little high-strung and enjoyable veggie way of living, and I have something that I'm heading towards now, that I'm working my ass off towards and enjoying, something that's a light at the end of the tunnel and that excites me to think and talk about, something which will hopefully open doors to other little somethings that excite me as well. I feel hopeful. I feel hopeful and I feel happy. I feel like I wanna fuck the world. And I feel centered. Finally. I realized this the other day. This is good.

-------