Things About and Around the Neighborhood

1. Based on the music that comes slamming into the neighbor's driveway every night, my neighbors have yet to figure out whether they are a) gangsta rappers, or b) America-lovin' rednecks. My money is on the latter.

2. I suspect my others neighbors built their garage last year *simply because* they got sick of seeing me run through my kitchen nekkid right before showering. This is only speculation, of course.

3. I fear that my neighbors probably think I only adopted my cats for torture purposes. Why, you ask? Well, whenever Zooey plays with one particular toy of hers, she emits these horrific, agonized noises which sound as though she's being put through some sort of medieval torture device and which emanate all through the apartment. At first, I'd run over to wherever the cries were coming from in a state of panic, thinking that she'd been stung by a bee or that Franny had torn her into a bloody pulp in the bathtub. But *every time* she'd just look up at me innocently and quizzically with her tinsel ball wedged firmly in her mouth, as though to say, "Why you look so panicked, weirdo?" So now I just ignore her, knowing that it's "tinsel ball" play-time, and that the agonized cries are actually ones of joy. However, my neighbors do not know this. So I suspect it's only a matter of time before the APL shows up at my door.

4. The chick who does the gardening for my apartment (in return for reduced rent) has started a compost heap. Who'da thunk that rotting fruits and vegetables could ever get me so excited?

5. It is more fun to call the blimp that's been plaguing your neighborhood with its weird noises "a dirigible" when discussing the matter in conversation. It's also more fun calling it this when you are explaining to your cats what the weird droning noise is as well: "Don't worry! It's just the jolly neighborhood dirigible!"

6. It is an absolute fucking blessing to have a discussion about veganism with a random meat-eater out in the glorious spring sun *without* being called names. Thank you, Mandy and random-guy-whose-name-I-can't-remember-but-who-plays-in-a-Kent-Jazz-something-or-other-band*.



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