Tip

When you know your landlord is coming over for annual inspections of your apartment, so you scrub the shit out of your bathtub, your toilet, your sink, and the kitty-litter area so that he can come check out your bathroom sink that needs snaking and the cabinet mirror that has cracked in two places without thinking you to be a nasty, dirty, slovenly gal and wanting to evict you, it would be advisable to also have the foresight to remove all rubbery and glass *clearing throat*, uh, "playthings" as well as your mound of newly-acquired vegan condoms from your bathroom cabinet that way you are not left standing there, mildly horrified, words somehow still coming sensically out of your mouth despite the fact that your brain just keeps thinking "oh my god, he keeps opening the door and closing it and staring right at all that shit on the top shelf and there's not just one but *three* rubberized playthings up there," and the end result isn't him thinking you to be a nasty, dirty gal anyways, just in a very very different kind of way.

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