BZZZZZZZZZZZZZT <-- The Sound of a 3000 Watt Lightbulb

I have never been as exhausted in my whole life as I have been in the past few weeks. It is astounding.

My eye (and its newly-acquired twitch) has turned into some sort of weird sleeplessness/stress barometer--yesterday was cloudy with lack of sleep gusting in from the East at about 60 mph. Everything has taken on this weird lucidity (except for actual coherent thoughts), burning crisp and bright like the filament of a 3000 watt lightbulb. I've spent at least a few minutes the last couple of nights watching my pudgy cat chase bugs in a strange ballet in the dark on my roof perfectly in time with Johnny Cash and then, the next night, MIA. My body feels like the humming, chattering end of an exposed nerve, like a transistor radio that's not quite tuned in. I've been wanting to rub up against everything (and everyone) I see. I keep rubbing my hands over everything I walk by, just to feel it. I wanna have torrid love affairs that make me wanna weep and scream. I feel hypersensitive, hyperaware. Music tastes like food. I wanna bottle up those initial wild moments of falling in love and then guzzle them down while dancing with someone under the moon in the middle of a street somewhere. I wanna walk around and grin and shout HURRAY at everything because it's all glorious in this big trembly web of living.

Last night I came home and downed two beers in the space of 1/2 an hour, all in the hope of quieting all this.

Instead it just resulted in me sitting out on my roof, singing obnoxiously to myself, and then staying up late making a mix instead of going to bed.

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