THINGS YOU MAY/MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT ME

• I like (controlled) pain. It makes me a bit tingly.


• I have a bit of a crush on my chiropractor. He does not help by pressing his body up against mine sometimes to do an adjustment.


• I need to rinse out a glass (typically) three times before getting a glass of water.


• I own clothes that probably haven't been washed in a year.


• I looked my dog Lucy in the eyes while they put her to sleep (to comfort her) and it was perhaps the most haunting and terrifying experience I've ever had.


• I have a bit of a dissociative disorder. It is partially responsible for my inability to smoke pot anymore.


• I secretly like when my pee smells like asparagus.


• I fantasize and daydream a lot. Conceivably three times as much as the average human being, though this statistic cannot be validated.


• I rarely get more than 5-5.5 hours of sleep on a weeknight.


• I am emotionally needy, though not all the time.


• I like to drink beer when I cook.


• One of my least favorite things to do is swallow large vitamins.


• For a while when I was little, I believed that my parents had taken me to have surgery performed on my ass in a parking garage somewhere. I'm still not quite sure why this is--I think I must've dreamt it.


• I don't think I've gone to bed earlier than 11:00pm in years.


• When I eat french fries, I salt my ketchup.


• I have a freckle on the inside of one of my toes that randomly appeared about a year ago.


• I find a really good one-on-one, long, intelligent, involved, and deep conversation about an interesting subject to be just as enjoyable as sex (though it DOES have to be interesting enough to leave me tired out and excited and rosy-cheeked and wide-eyed).


• Using new windshield-wipers makes me feel inexplicably happy.


• I have the uncanny ability to put my foot in my mouth.


• One of my biggest fears is something happening to my cats.


• I like to wear men's underwear.


• I like it when people's nostrils are whistly.


• I like it when people have their own personal catchphrase that they're not aware of, and I like it when you get to see them have the sudden epiphanic self-realization that they DO overuse the phrase (i.e. my friend Richard, who always says "And I was like, 'You've got to be kidding me!'").


• I like when weird things happen to me, just because I like to entertain other folks with the stories.


• I once watched three nekkid people sit on and use my elliptical exercise machine at the same time. I thoroughly cleaned the seat the next day.


• I once threw up down a flight of carpeted stairs.


• I like to/have to make lists when I'm feeling overwhelmed or have too much going on. It calms me.


• I once gave myself a bloody-nose in gym class while trying to do a handstand.


• I tell my cats I love them every night before I go to bed.


• I keep a tiny little book where I write down moments I've had where I've been purely and untaintedly happy--I don't let anyone read it because doing so would ruin the specialness of some of the moments.


• My favorite number is 33.

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