Yesterday, while on the freeway, I passed a car with a bumper sticker that read, RELAX, GOD'S IN CHARGE, and for the first time in a while, I felt a furious and unholy burst of anger. I wanted to drive up next to them, roll down my window, and shout "Are you fucking kidding me, asshole?"

I mean, don't get me wrong--I have no problem with Christianity when not in the hands of tyrannical and pompous sin-Nazis who walk around patting themselves on the back and condemning everyone else while missing out on the point that we're all sinners. (Douchebags.) I really don't.

But seriously, what goddamn holy pomposity for this white, presumably middle-class (and undoubtedly NOT Third World) individual to be sporting such a bumper sticker. I mean, it really must be nice to sit back in your soft cozy La-Z-Boy, cleaning out your fingernails and thinking blessedly about what a wonderful life your God has granted you, and not have to worry about where you're gonna get your next meal, not hide in fear as the sound of missiles ricochets off the walls of buildings surrounding you, not cower in the corner while you're being beaten and kicked for no other reason than that you talked, not have someone shoot you just because they disagree with you on "religious" grounds.

What fucking oblivious pomposity.

To that driver, I say, If you want to claim that your God is in charge of all this, if you want to hold Him responsible for all this crap, all this garbage, all this pointless futile spilling of blood in the world, if He's the one responsible and in charge, well, then FUCK YOUR GOD. He needs to put a fucking leash on things already.

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