Excerpts from This Week's Emails

yeah, now that i'm thinking about it more, i think only once was it not death for me. and that was a day where angels delivered the burrito to me on a platter of gold while more angels sang a song about how awesome i am. it's hard to go wrong with that kind of burrito presentation.

it's not like I'm not gonna shit each week anyway.

KAZOO IN EVERY ORIFICE!

)) <> ((

not only is it a work-at-work day, but it's a so-much-work-at-work-that-i'd-rather-sit-on-a-diamond-studded-dild0-during-a-'roid-flare-up kind of day.

Motherfucking Editorial Note: This fucking shit-ass section was amended in the August 6, 2007 Motherfucking ____ ______ Register, operative on September 8, 2007. As soon as this update becomes fucking available, much like yo mama , it will be incorporated into this document. Fuck you.

ok. gonna go. he's fixing a screen and then i am gonna head to some store somewhere and look for a tiny shelf for my binders. if i can't find one, i am gonna eat some poop.

COMPUTER HERPES! HURRAY!

way to make me laugh on the phone with my dying grandmother.

like, ummmm, anal explosions of death part vii. and i kill you with wang pt. 2 and pt. 4 (pt. 3 sucks).

let me tell you, if i had naked pictures of nellie mckay they would NOT be buried underground.

i almost crapped myself and then wept and then crapped myself some more. it was beautiful...

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