...Not the kind of wheel you fall asleep at...


  • I think the inside of my nose may have a smell to it. Which is weird, because you'd think it WOULDN'T since you're sorta smelling your nose non-stop. But every once in a while, when I adjust my nose-ring, I smell it. And it smells sort of like my cats.

  • Last night was the windiest night I've experienced in my house. It woke me up several times out of worry that my shitty windows were about to implode. Then I had a strange horror-movie-set of coincidental events that should've led up to some sort of chainsaw-killing but thankfully did not: I woke to loud wind at 2am. I went downstairs to pee. As I walked across the living room, the electricity cut out. Then it cut back on. It lightninged. The wind blew loudly again. The seams of my house howled woefully. I peed quickly and returned to my bed. A minute later the phone rang several times and then my answering machine picked it up. I could not make out the voice or the words, but it sounded like it was a call from a cell phone (perhaps a cell phone FROM INSIDE MY OWN HOUSE) and they left a message which abruptly got cut off. Assuming they'd call again if it was important, I rolled over and went back to sleep as the wind shook the third floor violently. I woke up this morning to check my machine, AND THERE WAS NO MESSAGE. And when I asked my friends and family if they had called, THEY SAID NO. Dun dun dunnnnn.

  • When I've had a rough day, and there's no one around to snuggle with (or feed me margaritas) to make me feel better, there's nothing better than snuggling it up with Hugh Laurie and a beer. I think he may be my Happy Place. Well, not counting my already existent anatomical "Happy Place." 'Cause if THAT were Hugh Laurie, that would just be weird. For both him and myself.

  • I have developed THE best scab I've seen in years. And it is nearly ripe for the picking, which sounds really disgusting, but you all know you do it. Especially when it's a fat, thick one like this bugger.

  • I wish I could pull off the use of the "jaunty wink" in normal day-to-day activities. But I cannot.

  • I also wish I could manage to incorporate the word "jaunty" more frequently into daily conversation.

  • I hate when you walk into a restroom and your first instinct is "Yum, that smells good." Because even if it smells like delicious, gooey, tomatoey pizza, it's probably post-bowel-pizza, and that's just not something you want to think YUM about.



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