Seriously:

What happened to lawn chairs?




I mean, the kind that you'd lay out on in the sun and when you finally went to get up, you had to pretty much peel your skin off of the plastic and your skin would be all mottled and pitted with lawn chair lines all up and down your thighs. The kind where you'd go to adjust the angle of the back of the chair and click click click it until RIGHT past where you wanted it, then you'd be all MOTHERFUCK, and then you'd have to push it all the way forward to release the clicking mechanism and then start over with the click click click.

I've been trying to find one of them for the past two years (a cheap, shitty one--even f-ing WALMART doesn't carry them), and THEY ARE NOWHERE.

If you have connections in the shitty lawnchair blackmarket, please: let me know.

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