Apparently Old Guy Neighbor refers to "menstruation" as "you know... P.I.," which, no, I don't know, but which makes me think of my period as a little man in a fedora who strolls out from between my legs once a month, chain-smoking cigarettes, talking fast, and referring to women as "dames." All of which I actually kind of like.

*And please do not ask why we were talking about menstruation. Because then I'd have to also explain why we were talking about bras, underpants, and other ladies' intimates. And trust me, you don't want to go there.

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