Crappy & Plenty

I continue to be convinced that our work vending machine is stocked by someone who a) has a really twisted sense of humor, b) is 8-years old and also trapped in the 1980s, or c) robbed a reject vending machine supply store. Either which way, I am amazed that they are making any money at all off of the products they choose to stock. This week, they filled up a row with Tootsie Rolls. A roll with Mike & Ikes. And even worse, they filled up a row with Good n' Plenty.



Now, perhaps the tootsie rolls and Mike & Ikes might have a chance. But Good & Plenty??

I haven't eaten a Good & Plenty since 5th grade. And when I ate them last, I was sitting in a dark movie theater with my best friend and my method of consuming them was to suck off their sweet and chalky exteriors and then (*whispering*) spit the offending pieces of licorice out on the movie theater floor. Because, as you know and I know, Good & Plenty are demonstrable proof that NO ONE LIKES BLACK LICORICE. Even if you've convinced yourself that you like it, you don't. TRUST ME. I mean, even back then, I only ate them because I wanted to believe that the rejects of society, the social outcasts, could be loved by SOMEONE. And it was a filthy filthy lie.

So why anyone in their RIGHT MIND would waste a whole vending machine row on Good & Plenty candies is beyond me as they will no doubt be in there FOREVER.

To demonstrate my point, I have created a counter, tracking how long the offending Good & Plenty candies sit in our vending machine at work. (The clock started when I first noticed them in there on Sept. 30--they may have been there weeks and months prior, but I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt.)

A tracker, you say? Have you no life?

Thankfully this is a blog that rejoices and feasts on mundanities, so bite me.

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