Pre-Coffee Moments That Make You Realize You Need More Sleep

Getting up when your alarm goes off, reaching over to pet your cat Zooey in the dark, and having the sudden horrified thought that something has gone seriously seriously wrong with her face in the middle of the night, and it's become mutated and elephantine while you slept, and it's all because you haven't been paying enough attention to her, and now she's entirely deformed and YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE HER EYES and why god why, and it's so flat and eyeless, and wait oh that is her fricking tail sticking out of her face for the love of all things unholy, and wait oh maybe that face is her ass, and wait oh you are indeed petting her ass and thinking it is her face, and hopefully you didn't accidentally pet her asshole, and you could really use some coffee.

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