Reasons I Like the Blimp

• It reminds me of a fat pet, which makes me want to get all squeaky with it and start baby-talking things like, "AWWWW, you're so fucking FAT!!!! Isn't da big squishy blimp the fattest? Ah boo boo boo" and then get all ass- and cheek-pinchy and annoying.



• When I see it, I can't help but think of myself as being in some weird apocalyptic sci-fi movie, where I have to scurry to my car quickly before I get caught in its spotlight and some mercenary dude guns me down for being out past 9:30pm curfew.



• It just looks absurd. Like, I look into the sky, and I think: I cannot think of anything more absurd than you. Up there.



• It just is so stupid. Everytime I see it I think, "Hee. Someone thought you were a good idea for transportation. That dude is now dead and also A FUCKING IDIOT."

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