More Reasons I Can't Wait to Be Done with My Workplace

• There is swine flu information inexplicably taped to the tampon dispenser. Not the paper-towel dispenser where the woman who left without washing her hands last week could've read it. But where we go to buy things to jam up our crotches.



• There is a pinky-sized piece of dry poo stuck to the inside wall of one of the bathroom stalls. I cannot even begin to conceive of the circumstances in which it came to rest there.



• Someone was just shitting in the lady's room with no shoes on.

-------