...Not the kind of wheel you fall asleep at...

Please Excuse This Unscheduled Rant

So: I have a blog feed. And I keep track of all the blogs I like on it. And it tells me when they've updated. And I like that. Mostly 'cause I troll a ton of vegan food-blogs.

This is it, in case you're interested: The My Defective Life Blog Feed

And for the last week, I've been DISGUSTED TO THE POINT OF FURIOUS ANGER every time I check my feed, because I've had to look at THIS creepygrossnastydisgusting ad every time (thankfully they don't seem to advertise it until you log in, so you all will be spared if you go check my feed, except for the fact that I just showed you it now, so MWAHAHAHASUFFER!):

I mean, seriously. I don't want to be staring at fucking disgusting teeth every 20 minutes or so.

I actually LIKE teeth. And after a week of staring at these, I feel like I won't be able to ever suck face again. That I might not even be able to be IN THE SAME ROOM with a tooth.

The ad is just .SO. .GROSS.

I mean:

First mouth--great, you have white teeth now. But your mouth itself is fucking disgusting. You look like you have chapped lips wrapped in herpes wrapped in scabies. You may have the whitest teeth in the world, but no one in their right mind is going to kiss those scabiesherpeschapped lips, my friend. Go home. Take a pair of scissors. Cut them off.

Second mouth--get thee to a rave, and get the hell out of my blog feeds.

Third mouth--It's called toothpaste. Get some. $10 says that was the trick that mom "discovered" anyways. Either that, or just keep your fucking mouth shut. 'Cause: goddamn.



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