DREEEEE-EEE-EEEE-EEE-EEEAM, DREAM DREAM DREAM <--supposed to sound like that song but hard to replicate in print

Esme (the cat formerly known as Scabs) wakes us all up EVERY morning at 4am. And it annoys the piss outta me. But I must say: the vague sleep I get between 4am and 5:30am each morning has been the catalyst for some wild-ass dreams. And I haven't dreamed like this in a long while (or remembered my dreams, for that matter), so part of me appreciates the disruption.

Case in point is this morning's series of dreams:

• Dream 1: Franny is leaving massive orange shits around the house. When I say massive, we're talking the size of my forearm. I'm horrified that she's sick, and as I clean up after one of her messes, I look over, and she has changed into an orange cat. I reach out to pet her and as I do, she changes back into a black cat, kind of like those hypercolor shirts from the 90s.



• Dream 2: Hot hot sex with a friend of mine that is younger than me. Significantly younger than me. Thus, said person shall remain nameless. Mostly because sex dreams about friends should ALWAYS remain that way. Nonetheless: Mmmmmm.



• Dream 3: A large semi has apparently lost control of itself and slammed up my driveway and into my car, pushing it into the backyard. I don't see the actual accident take place. I just see the aftermath. I call 911. They don't answer. I find myself walking out to Mayfield Hts. from Tremont to get to Borders. I have no idea why. When I return, the semi is still there. I go to call 911 again, but one of the maintenance men is outside with the driver of the semi and he tells me he's already called. He also tells me the driver is drunk. The driver is lying on the ground in a fetal position, clearly injured, and breathing shallow. The maintenance man and I stare at him for a while. The maintenance man nonchalantly tells me we'll probably have to perform cpr on him soon. I nod. We continue to watch the driver suffer. Even more disturbingly, as I drift in and out of sleep this morning, I find myself hoping that the semi-situation is actually true 'cause then I won't have to go to work and train people from overseas. I am willing to accept a suffering and possibly dying driver if it means not having to go into work. MORAL TURPITUDE.

/END SCENE

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