This Week, In Recap

Opened for business.
Had an extremely huge beetle fly directly into my cleavage.
Went to the beach.
Got sunburnt at the beach.
Saw the new Romero flick.
Got hit on by an old, one-legged man who told me my success in relationships is going to be inversely correlated to the amount of cats I have.
Bartered a massage.
Had my first day of no no-shows.
Saw a vulture (swear to god) picking apart roadkill on a side street in Parma.
Actually called a boy back. On the phone. Despite my intense hatred of talking. On the phone.
Had a lady fart on me repeatedly.
Finally saw how (the second part of) screen-printing works.
Had someone ask me how much I'd charge to massage their butt for 30 mins.
Spent 3.5 hours at Melt with two out of three of my wives.
Met a bunch of new folks in the neighborhood.
Almost did the pool equivalent of pitching a no-hitter.
Got referred to as a regular by an employee at Home Depot.
Saw Kevin kick a bird. By accident. Supposedly.

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