I'm Guessing This Don't Even Need an Introduction... 'Cept to Say HA HA HA HA HA
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Things I Did This Weekend (In No Particular Order)
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Yesterday, I complimented a little 6-year old girl's very meticulous and beaded cornrows as we washed our hands in the bathroom.
She shouted at me as I was leaving, "I LIKE YOUR HAIR TOO!"
Then she paused and, staring at the two motley, tornado-esque bird's nests on the back of my head, said, "That must have taken a long time to do."
For a second, I actually suspected her of scathing sarcasm but then realized that she was only 6-years old and probably doesn't even know what sarcasm is yet.
I am still a bit suspicious though.
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At North Farm
Somewhere someone is traveling furiously toward you,
At incredible speed, traveling day and night,
Through blizzards and desert heat, across torrents, through narrow passes.
But will he know where to find you,
Recognize you when he sees you,
Give you the thing he has for you?
Hardly anything grows here,
Yet the granaries are bursting with meal,
The sacks of meal piled to the rafters.
The streams run with sweetness, fattening fish;
Birds darken the sky. Is it enough
That the dish of milk is set out at night,
That we think of him sometimes,
Sometimes and always, with mixed feelings?
--John Ashbery
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Yesterday night, I thought back nostalgically upon the toothbrush incident that marked the dawning of this blog after accidentally combing my nipple really hard.
You would think this would be an activity that is easy to avoid, and yet the aforementioned nipple-combing incident was not an isolated one.
Which somehow makes it even more disturbing.
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Freeganism?
So this weekend I read an article in Satya Magazine about freeganism. I'd never even heard of the notion before (color me unhip), but I was initially intrigued by the idea. Basically, freegans try to live off of the consumer wastes of others--they recover things from clothes to household items to food that has been tossed out as wastes and use it to sustain themselves. The idea is to make use of the huge amounts of wastefulness our consumerist society produces. Interesting, I thought.
To quote the Freegan website ((http://freegan.info/)):
"Freeganism is a total boycott of an economic system where the profit motive has eclipsed ethical considerations and where massively complex systems of productions ensure that all the products we buy will have detrimental impacts most of which we may never even consider. Thus, instead of avoiding the purchase of products from one bad company only to support another, we avoid buying anything to the greatest degree we are able."
-and-
"The word freegan is derived from "free" and "vegan". Vegans are people who avoid products from animal sources or products tested on animals in an effort to avoid harming animals. Freegans take this a step further by recognizing that in a complex, industrial, mass-production economy driven by profit, abuses of humans, animals, and the earth abound at all levels of production (from acquisition to raw materials to production to transportation ) and in just about every product we buy. Sweatshop labor, rainforest destruction, global warming, displacement of indigenous communities, air and water pollution, eradication of wildlife on farmland as "pests", the violent overthrow of popularly elected governments to maintain puppet dictators compliant to big business interests, open-pit strip mining, oil drilling in environmentally sensitive areas, union busting, child slavery, and payoffs to repressive regimes are just some of the many impacts of the seemingly innocuous consumer products we consume every day."
But the more I read, the more it seemed to me that while the idea of putting consumerist waste to good use is a noble one, the actual ideology of freeganism seems to be structurally unsound.
What I don't get is this: Freeganism REQUIRES A SUSTAINED CONSUMER SOCIETY IN ORDER TO EXIST. If freeganism were to succeed in its "dismantling" of consumerism and consumerism were to collapse, then freeganism would fold in on itself because WITHOUT consumerism, there can be no freeganism. If Adam Weissman were correct and "If significant numbers of meat-eaters start recovering rather than buying their meat [and] a significant drop in sales [left] stores ordering less […] result[ing] over time in less production" then essentially, freegans would be left high and dry as to how they would sustain themselves. Freeganism (and Adam Weissman) becomes unable to support its own logic here. Like a host is to a parasite, consumerism is necessary for an individual to exist as a freegan. So it seems to me that just as freeganism is seeking to rise up against consumerism, it is essentially reinforcing its necessity in the same swift move. And that strikes me as a bit frightening.
In the world of veganism, the motivating idea is that we should strive towards replacing an animal-consuming society with one that lives peacefully and ethically off of the earth.* In the world of feminism, the idea is that we strive towards replacing a patriarchal society with one where everyone is treated equally.* Wouldn't the logical action against consumerism be likewise to dismantle it and then rebuild something in its place? Freeganism seems to want to dismantle consumerism, but that's where it breaks down--from what I've read (and please, do correct me if I've just not *read* that which disproves this), and as Weissman states in the Satya article, freeganism strives towards a community of "people [who] voluntarily help and share with one another rather than competing for resources" and Freegans claim to "embrace community, generosity, social concern, freedom, cooperation, and sharing in opposition to a society based on materialism, moral apathy, competition, conformity, and greed" (freegan.info) and yet freeganism offers no ideas as to what to rebuild in the place of a consumerist society if this "voluntary sharing" were to succeed and destroy consumerism, or how this community of "generosity, social concern, freedom, cooperation and sharing" would be sustainable when there are no longer waste-products to be shared, or how, once we all become freegans, we are going to be able to sustain ourselves if we have no consumerist waste to live off of. FREEGANISM DEPENDS ON CONSUMERISM TO SUSTAIN ITSELF AS BOTH A PHILOSOPHY AND A WAY OF LIVING. So I find myself wondering how effective of a response to consumerism it can be...
But that's just my two cents. I will readily admit that I'm not super well-read on the subject matter (my comments are based on what I've read from Adam Weissman and from the Freegan website), so I encourage any freegans who happen upon this to address my concerns as they are intended moreso as questions and critiques rather than condemnations.
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All quotes are from "It's Not That Gross! Freeganism and the Art of Dumpster-Diving" or Freegan.info.
*Clearly these two statements are SUPER-reductive over-simplifications of two much more complex philosophies, but I done reduced them down to make my point simpler to understand. Wanna make something of it?
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I {{Heart}} Weirdos
I have no idea why, but I was just sitting here when suddenly a super-vivid and tactile memory of the series of Ed Emberley drawing books popped into my head.
I used to fricking love his books when I was little:
(Amazon Ed Emberley booklist HERE)
I mean, he has a fricking drawing book on how to draw weirdos, for pete's sake. How cool and anti-establishmentarian is that?
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This cartoon keeps popping up again and again in emails and/or blog-postings, so I am just sucking up and posting it here because, well, it's funny. And if you haven't had the chance to see it yet, you should.
(from Married to the Sea)
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Kablam
When I was little, I was absolutely fascinated by the notion of spontaneous human combustion.
Perhaps you can now understand why I am the way I am.
*Scoffing*
Yeah right.
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The Office
So I just have to say, I {heart} The Office. There are really no television shows that I go out of my way to watch nowadays, especially since I typically have no time to actually watch them. But The Office is the only one that I actually sit down and make time for if I'm home on a Thursday night.
I wasn't bowled over by it when it first aired--I didn't find it very funny and thought it was really just kind of boring at most. But goddamn if it hasn't improved vastly since then.
The main reason I like it, other than the fact that it makes me laugh out loud at least twice every episode (that's my touchstone for a quality sitcom), is that its characters are both office-stereotypes and yet also complex characters, and I think the writers' ability to interweave the two is impressive. Each character has identifiable and stereotypical qualities of a person you might bump into in your office-place, and yet the show doesn't let them rest at just that (as, say, Office Space did)--it lets them fill these stereotypes, but it also exposes the complexities behind them (which is even more interesting to me because it exists as a reminder that all the people I work with--all the stereotypes and nicknames they fill--are *real* people with *real* lives outside of this place). It shows that these people are human, despite the fact that they might irritate the piss out of you or act super-lame all the motherf-ing time. And I find that really quite cool, especially for a sitcom. And especially for a sitcom that still manages to succeed at being funny, despite moving beyond flat, stereotypical characters.
The other main reason I like it is that it has developed one of the most fantastic television romances I think I've seen in a long time (if ever). I have never ever ever tuned in to a show simply because of soap-operatic necessity (the folks who keep up with the whole OC scoop--Tina slept with Bo and then shot him and ran off with her lesbian lover Regina--quite frankly frighten me a bit in their compulsiveness), but I absolutely love the two main characters on The Office and their office-romance and try to tune in each week because of it.
E (who also watches the show when he can) and I have discussed how we suspect(ed) the show will lose a bit of its driving force if they actually ever hook up, but I was really f-ing pleasantly surprised Thursday night because the male character (Jim) finally revealed to the female character (Pam) that he was in love with her, and IT WAS SO WELL-DONE THAT I SERIOUSLY ALMOST CRIED. No shit. And I am so not a crier. But I think I may have sniffled a little.
Truly, it was one of the finest romantic moments I've seen on television, mostly because it was one of the most honest and non-melodramatic ones I've seen. It was understated, and in being so, was heart-breakingly accurate in capturing the desperate emotions involved in being smitten with someone. If you didn't catch the season finale, you must get your ass out there and do so. And if you haven't gotten suckered in to the whole office-romance, you must catch up on the season, because it truly is one of the most frighteningly accurate (and skillfully done) portrayals I've seen.
I actually had to remind myself, They are imaginary people, L. They are not really real, you big stupid idiot.
But hey, that's what novels and tv shows and movies are supposed to do, no? Make you engage with the characters and get wrapped up in their lives, no? Make you hope that they *do* end up together, no? I am rationalizing my lame-ass geekiness, no?
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In recent weeks, little has cracked me up more than this Natalie Dee cartoon (it is necessary that you read the caption before opening it in order to appreciate its humor in all its glory):
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Whatever you do, don't touch that button!
Upon returning home at about 10pm last night, I had a weird couple of hours that felt bizarre enough to have been stripped straight from Yellow Submarine (particularly that scene where they're in the hallway opening all the doors and all that random shit keeps running back and forth behind them). I won't go into explicit detail, but I will say this:
If you've ever lost something and spent way too long looking around for it with no luck, apparently the key to getting it to magically reappear is to drink a beer while holding a flashlight and putting a banana on your doorknob.
No shit.
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"I know you hate to be impressed with someone else
(other than yourself),
But you know, trying to hold back
on being an asshole helps."
--The Strokes ("Fear of Sleep")
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You know you've had a good weekend when you can say that...
1) You saw a play called Poona the Fuckdog, and Other Plays for Children; and
2) You almost got your toes smashed by a very large pair of testicles.
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What Cubicles Will Do to You
I was just thinking this morning, as I entered the ladies' room and had a brief moment of light-headedness, that it would be kinda funny if I were to pass-out and clock my head on the tile just hard enough to bleed profusely (because head wounds bleed more heavily than the rest of the body), and then someone walked in and, with shock and horror, thought that they'd stumbled upon the scene of a crime (rather than someone fainting) and began shouting, MURDER! FOUL PLAY! with their hand held tremulously over their mouth while another person or two nearby swooned as they stumbled onto the scene, and then British ambulances were sent for and they made those weird and distinctively British ambulance siren noises that they make (which I found out just recently is because they used to sound too similar to air raid sirens which would freak the shit out of people, so they adjusted the sirens to their current bizarre wail*) and then right before they almost mistakenly declared my time of death, I let out a big gasp and sat up, and everyone cheered and champagne and cigars got passed around.
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*from Bitch Magazine, May 2006 issue. Footnoted included primarily to make Mr. Living Next Door to Myself full of footnote-envying angst again.
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Nerdle Me Up!
So call me a big old nerd, but the other day on my way to... uh, the place which I was driving unto... I was listening to 88.9 on the radio when lo and behold, amidst the madness of rush-hour traffic, a commercial wafted through my radio speakers that was promoting the need for a vegetarian diet and explaining how "research has shown that people who eat a diet free of animal products and one that is low in fat have a much lower risk of developing cancer."* I squealed with glee. I am a nerd like that.
But then, to my added joy, the commercial revealed itself not to be the works of PeTA or some fringe vegetarian group that had scrounged up enough money to advertise (as I had supposed it to be)--it revealed itself to be a commercial for "The Cancer Project."
Apparently, The Cancer Project is a physician-headed organization that "has two main goals: First, [...] to make cancer prevention a top priority [and] just as important, [...] to improve survival after cancer has been diagnosed by providing comprehensive information about the role of dietary factors in keeping people healthy." In an attempt at achieving these goals, they offer vegan cooking classes for cancer patients. They offer tons of links to information on vegetarian and vegan diets. They have vegan recipes out the ass. And they offer research all over the place showing the usefulness of such a diet.
I know I am a nerd, but in order for the benefits of a veggie diet to be brought to the public in a palatable and legitimizing way, it often has to be done by folks with NO CONNECTION TO ANIMAL RIGHTS/VEGETARIAN GROUPS which in turn offers it some sort of veracity. So it is nice to see vegetarianism being endorsed by a group who's not offering up information that can be misconstrued as "veggie propaganda," who can speak fairly objectively on the subject and offer to the public objective information *showing* the usefulness of a vegetarian diet without it being accused of having a "hidden veggie agenda," who are simply seeking out a way to "advance cancer prevention and survival through nutrition education and research" and who are trying to bring this information to the general public so that they might benefit.
If my excitement over that is nerdy, then nerdle me up.
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*Source: http://www.cancerproject.org/protective_foods/index.php
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Things About and Around the Neighborhood
1. Based on the music that comes slamming into the neighbor's driveway every night, my neighbors have yet to figure out whether they are a) gangsta rappers, or b) America-lovin' rednecks. My money is on the latter.
2. I suspect my others neighbors built their garage last year *simply because* they got sick of seeing me run through my kitchen nekkid right before showering. This is only speculation, of course.
3. I fear that my neighbors probably think I only adopted my cats for torture purposes. Why, you ask? Well, whenever Zooey plays with one particular toy of hers, she emits these horrific, agonized noises which sound as though she's being put through some sort of medieval torture device and which emanate all through the apartment. At first, I'd run over to wherever the cries were coming from in a state of panic, thinking that she'd been stung by a bee or that Franny had torn her into a bloody pulp in the bathtub. But *every time* she'd just look up at me innocently and quizzically with her tinsel ball wedged firmly in her mouth, as though to say, "Why you look so panicked, weirdo?" So now I just ignore her, knowing that it's "tinsel ball" play-time, and that the agonized cries are actually ones of joy. However, my neighbors do not know this. So I suspect it's only a matter of time before the APL shows up at my door.
4. The chick who does the gardening for my apartment (in return for reduced rent) has started a compost heap. Who'da thunk that rotting fruits and vegetables could ever get me so excited?
5. It is more fun to call the blimp that's been plaguing your neighborhood with its weird noises "a dirigible" when discussing the matter in conversation. It's also more fun calling it this when you are explaining to your cats what the weird droning noise is as well: "Don't worry! It's just the jolly neighborhood dirigible!"
6. It is an absolute fucking blessing to have a discussion about veganism with a random meat-eater out in the glorious spring sun *without* being called names. Thank you, Mandy and random-guy-whose-name-I-can't-remember-but-who-plays-in-a-Kent-Jazz-something-or-other-band*.
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*This
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