My Defective Life

(I decided to do a follow-up simply because several of you weirdos emailed me to tell me that you were delighted by my last list. *couLOSERSgh*)

I occasionally recall the vivid sensation of what it was like to wiggle a loose-tooth with my tongue, and I miss it.

The time on my alarm clock is set about 45 minutes or so ahead of the actual time (that way I can fool myself into thinking I'm not getting up quite so early). I set the alarm for 6:13am so that it goes off precisely 18 minutes before I want to get up, that way I can sleep through two snoozes. On work-days, my wake-up time is 6:31am, alarm-clock time (which in real-time is about 5:42). All this makes it very difficult to set my alarm-clock for any other time than work-time, and whenever the electricity goes out, it fucks everything up for like three days until I can figure out the precise amount of time ahead of normal-time my alarm-clock was set for.

When I microwave items, the time I key in has to be an odd number. I have to remove the item from the microwave before the alarm goes off, and it has to be stopped on an odd number.

When I have something important going on for the day (a major test, a trip), I always make sure to put on nice underwear, the kind that I wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen in if I spontaneously hooked up with someone or were in a car accident and had to have my pants cut off.

The random ingredients in jarred, processed salsa still freak me out a bit--I have to do a bit of mind-over-matter to get through certain salsas without poking at and examining all the chunks of things in them.

I'm not a big fan of cleaning, so when things get cluttered, I tend to just jam them into other things so I at least can't see the clutter. This is why I have an X-mas stocking in my bathroom drawer.

I pick my nose on occasion. Sometimes I worry that maybe my neighbors will happen to be looking up at my window precisely when I do so. And yet, this is hasn't stopped me from continuing to do so.

I have two pictures of Jordan Knight (from the New Kids on the Block) in my cube. In one of the two, he appears to have his nipple air-brushed out for the picture.

When I was younger, I had a nervous habit of flicking my fingers while watching movies. I'd go through them over and over, running my thumb over the top of them from the middle knuckle to the bottom knuckle, one by one. My mom used to make me sit on my hands sometimes so I'd stop doing it.

Once, in middle school, I snuck some of my mom's wine out of the house in my squirt-gun.

I knock on wood a lot when I accidentally think about something I don't want coming true. Typically, I use my earrings (since they're wood), so sometimes you'll see me driving and it *looks* like I'm adjusting my earring, but really I just thought something terrible and am knocking on wood (and trying not to look crazy while doing so).

I like the word mimple a lot, mostly because my sister made it up. I also like calling people Mimples Mimpleton for no reason.

I don't really like candy that doesn't involve chocolate. I find it to be a waste of time, to be quite frank.

I own one pair of victoria's secret underwear. Conversely, I own more than one pair of underwear that has holes in it.

E's mom has bought me socks for Christmas every year since I accidentally wore unmatching socks over her house one time.

I don't like to crack my own bones. I *DO* like other people to crack them for me though.

It usually makes me extremely uncomfortable to walk past places where there are groups of guys standing around. Except for the gas-station at the end of my street, simply because I've been there so many times that one of them usually just hollers a greeting at me from across the street, we all wave at each other, and then I can move on.

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