...Not the kind of wheel you fall asleep at...

Anyone Wanna Offer Me Free Sound-Proofing? Deargodplease?


The house I live in has pretty much no sound-proofing between my apartment and the front neighbor's apartment.

Consequently, I've heard... 2 out of my 3 neighbor's orgasms at some point in time. And not like "putting your ear up against the wall in order to really hear it" orgasm. I can hear them sneeze in their apartment with perfect clarity. So you can only imagine. They basically sound like they are fucking ON MY LAP.

This fact has led me to the occasional confusion: I once groggily thought a peeping tom was jerking off outside my (2nd floor) window because of an early-morning session. I gave a previous downstairs neighbor a bit of an orgasm-complex after keeping a running-tally of overheard orgasms on this blog a few years back. And one time, I was mid-coitus with a past boyfriend, AND WE HEARD THE FRONT NEIGHBORS START UP WHILE WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF DOING IT. We froze like deer in headlights, clearly both having arrived at the same thought simultaneously: our doing it made THEM wanna do it. Which is just kind of ew.

Today: An orgasm update.

The trust-fund babies now living up front apparently fuck like trust-fund bunnies.

And I didn't realize that they actually HAD any sex for a long time, mainly because there is no differentiation between a) Female Trust-Fund Bunny's orgasm-noise, and b) Female Trust-Fund Bunny's brow-beating of boyfriend/random bratty hollering noises.

So all the time that I thought she was doing her annoying berating and brow-beating and/or random shouts at her boyfriend, she could've actually been having sex. And the times I now think she is having sex, she could conceivably just be brow-beating. Which is all sorts of confusing.

Either which way, she kind of sounds like Hot Girl with a Bad Laugh from Family Guy:



Imagine sexing up that laugh, or imagine IMAGINING sexing up that laugh, and you'll understand my pain.

Male Trust-Fund Bunny is surely gonna be in need of therapy some point soon.

As will I. As will I.



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