Summer of Awesomeness, Here I Come

So I extended my last day at work from January 16 to June 19, five extra months.

Why did I do this? Actually, initially the only real reason was the sudden realization that scheduling my last day for mid-January meant four months of paid time-off SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF CLEVELAND WINTER. And this gave me frightening visions of this



and this



So when my boss said she wouldn't mind keeping me around a little bit longer to train folks, I leapt at the opportunity, mostly because it seemed wrong that I should be forced to enjoy my four months paid time-off by going stir-crazy in a snowed-in apartment.

But I'm feeling a bit of trepidation at having just locked into the extension, partially because I fear that the move will be misunderstood by others and interpreted as a fear of leaving and of change. (And this, I assure you, is not the case.) And partially (and more importantly) because this means FIVE MORE MOTHERF-ING MONTHS HERE.

But ultimately, the perks of extending my time here have grown since I went to Colorado for the Trauma Touch Seminar and have moved beyond just the weather, and really, they make sense (right? RIGHT??!):

• My paid time-off will be from late-June through the end of October. And really: is this not THE perfect time of season to have freedom? Cleveland in the springsummerfall. Time-off during Michfest. Lots of opportunities for lazing outdoors. And if I decide to open my own space, I'll be doing so in bright cheery weather instead of in the icy yuck of winter. It will be...
  THE SUMMER OF AWESOMENESS!!!!



• This will give me five extra months to get this externship done (which itself is going to take AT LEAST 2.5 months, so must get my butt moving on this one). This will also give me time enough to (hopefully) find a space and a "mentor" to be able to complete the externship.



• This means five extra months to save up mad cash so that I can a) open my own space? b) do some mad traveling? c) eat nothing but solid gold for 4 months?
  
  
  And finally...



• This means I may be able to accrue some extra leftover vacation time that can be tacked on to my four-months paid time-off and (because I'll be here past the month where raises are implemented) I'll be getting paid more during this time off.

So really, fate is actually on my side with this, and I should really thank my lucky stars.

Yes.

Yes yes.

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Entirely unfair that this graffiti is on SS's apartment and not mine, seeing as he has no lust for House (at least that I'm aware of)...




(Thanks, P, for helping document this awesome travesty.)

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Harem Schmarem

Surprise surprise: I'm adding Sufjan Stevens to my harem list. Why has it taken so long for me to recognize his worthiness? I haven't a clue. But seeing him last Thursday, all pretty & bird-haired, well: I think he deserves to be on the regular harem-list and not just the harem list of hair-pettery.



But not only is Sufjan getting added, I'm also adding the trumpet player he's touring with 'cause WHAT THE FUCK?!?! This dude seriously about near stole the show from Sufjan, flipping back and forth from trumpet to French horn to keyboard to pretty much whatever he felt like. But his trumpet playing: GOD. DAMN. Dude has MAD SKILLS. He also seemed to be extremely stoned and had mad-crazy eyes that were wheeling all over the place while he played, but that kind of added to the charm.



So yes: C.J. Camerieri, feel honored, as you are gracing my harem list. If ever you wanna put those lips all over something that isn't brass, call me.

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I Seriously Need to Get a Job as a Professional Writer of Spam...

'cause I could bust this sort of shit out like NO TOMORROW.

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friend!! Lovely invites you to visit 'Property Bulgaria'

Hi There, My name is lovely rhime, and I'm an IN YOUR FACE MONEY-LOVIN' LUNATIC. You wanna get rich buddy? Listen up ... Good guys finish last. Dead last. Nobody gets rich being nice. You got that? This is a KILL OR BE KILLED world. Got morals? Join a friggin church. I'm happy on the road to hell if I got a backpack full o' cash! I'm about to show you the dirtiest and deadliest ways to make HUGE MONEY online in no time at all, even if you know jack sh!t about computers. Look, this stuff ain't ethical .. it's definitely not nice ... and some of it is just barely legal. But it works. It works fast. And it makes mad money. Who cares about anything else! You're gonna make HUGE MONEY even if you're a complete newbie to selling online. Whether you're an advanced marketer or your kid just showed you how to fire up a computer last week, absolutely anyone can get filthy rich following my STEP-BY-STEP instructions. That's right .. I'm going to hold your hand like a baby learning to walk and show you STEP-BY-STEP how to put these money-making ideas into practice. So how much money am I talking about? I will personally strip naked and EAT MY SHOE and put the video on youtube if you make less than $2900 your first week. I'm dead serious!!
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Actually, I want to be a writer of subversive spam. People would get a message like the spam above, but then suckers would click on it in the hopes of getting rich quick, and it would connect them up with something mind-blowing and philosophical, and they'd walk away either a sudden & complete nihilist or with a mind-expansion so hardcore that they won't even be able to walk straight anymore.

LET'S DO IT! WHO'S WITH ME?!?!

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AwwwwwSQUISH

This weekend has left me feeling squishy and content about the people in my life right now. Like they're a nice big hearty delicious meal. My peeps = nom. Not that I haven't had nom peeps before, but not in a way that has felt like such a huge and present (ha) presence. I get calls and texts from people regularly, I have people checking in to see how I'm doing, I am regularly out and about with all different folks, I am last-minuting with people. It's yummy.

I also feel very present in my life, like I'm really just living and not letting shit slip by me without embracing it and wrestling it to the ground and then wet-willying it until it starts shrieking and giggling.

It feels good.

I like having friends shout hellos to me from neighboring yards when they get home from work.

I like suddenly realizing that my sister is an adult and watching her talk as that realization dawns on me.

I like getting P to stay out later than midnight.

I like texting people last minute and meeting up with them for a movie, even if the movie does blow.

I like that I can now spontaneously invite neighbors over for dinner.

I like illegally jumping fences at 3am to sneak down to the lake and getting to share the amazing view with someone while beautiful specters of waves crash in on us.

I like having not one but 4 or 5 different people immediately text/tweet/email me to tell me their stove is all mine if I need to use it.

I like late-night conversations about childhood & movie-loves.

I like (and appreciate) knowing that Exes from Yore are actually MAKING the effort and regularly texting me to keep up with how things are going in my life.

I like the physical proximity of friends.

I like being busy busy busy but also occasionally not.

Maybe it's community. Maybe that's what I'm digging on.

I've had friends. But I've not so much had a sense of community. Or the strong sense that a group of people are present for me. And I've been feeling it as of late.

And that: NOM.

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This Day, In Summary

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Mixed Up Mix of Mix-Swap Mixes

I compiled my favorites from our mix-swap mixes, 2 to 3 tracks from each mix.

Here it is.

Listen.

Like.

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A Bug and a Song

This is the insanely amazing praying mantis that was out on my roof this past weekend. His wings are camouflaged to look like wood. Dude was scary: he'd all the sudden turn his head real quick to stare at me, and I'd feel like I was just dropped into a Godzilla vs. Mothra movie or something.

He also ate the face off of a large bumblebee while it was still alive. (I feel like doing that to people some days too.)







* * * * * * *

Didn't realize until last night that I LOVE this song's lyrics...



"Caution caution caution
to prevent electric shock:
do not do not do not remove cover.
No user-servicable parts inside.
Refer servicing to qualified
service personel.

Let this be the epitaph for my heart..."

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*Figured I should just leave the prettier post on the front page for the next week or two.
Check out los archivos for more.

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9 Out of 10 Americans Apparently Want to Shag Robin Swoboda

Robin Swoboda, some days I am sorry I ever blogged about you here, despite the fact that one of the most frequent google-searches that brings people to my blog is some variation on your name.

Other days, I am not sure whether to be frightened for you or tip my hat at you for the fact that apparently lots of people would like to, um, bone you.

Case in point:

Someone in Cuyahoga falls JUST TODAY googled "I'd love to fuck Robin Swoboda."

Proof:



And then a week or so ago, someone ELSE googled:

"How big are robin swoboda's breasts."

All of which really are slightly disturbing and make me want to rent you a body-guard.

But I guess this means I should also toss a Kudos in your direction. Despite the soccer-mom garb, CLEARLY you're working it.

You go, girl!

*Doing some crazy soccer-mom snap thing around my head*

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More Reasons I Should Rule the World

I feel like there's a whole a subgenre of songs that could be categorized as



"Replacements for the U2 Songs Found During Climactic Romantic Scenes in Various Television Shows and Movies, Such As FRIENDS and REALITY BITES."




Examples:

"Sometime Around Midnight" by The Airborne Toxic Event




"The Kissing Song" by Dawn Landes



"Cold Desert" by Kings of Leon



And without a doubt*, this romantical U2-love-esque gem which needs no introduction:






Sound theory?


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*Except for the doubt of "jk."
**All of these songs are actually songs that I like as well.

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If Not, I Will Call the Term 'Schadensquish'

This song makes me feel happy-sad.

Do the germans have a word for that? They seem to have a word for nearly every strange specificity. Like schadenfreude. Or the less well-known schadenmeatballs.



*Trying not to kill the happy-sadness by listening to it over and over until I become numb towards it. Failing miserably*

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